Artie Lange Quote

...I met plenty of people who grew up wealthy. These people came from families that had several homes a staff of servants, and took vacations in beautiful, exotic locations all around the world. My family had one house, and my sister, Stacey and I had a maid—we called her “Ma.” When we vacationed, there wasn’t much of a debate between Fiji and Bora Bora—we relaxed strictly at the Jersey Shore. When I encountered rich people for the first time, I discovered that not only do they holiday in places that are hard to find on a map, they also use the names of seasons as verbs. When they asked me, “Where did you summer and winter growing up?” I would usually say, “As a child? The same place I springed and autumned.”

Rich people know how to relax. That’s all they do growing up. I wish my mother knew how to relax because now I have the money to let her take it easy. I wish she liked tennis or golf. Maybe skiing or world travel. Unfortunately, she doesn’t. My mother likes cleaning tables with pledge. If I’m ever blessed with a child, I’m going to encourage that child to take it slow.

From Too Fat To fish, by Artie Lange (with Anthony Bozza).

Get well soon, Artie. One of the better New Jersey memoirs, Too Fat To Fish is a funny, fascinating read. Artie Lange is an original, genuine comic talent and wrote a book well worth reading.